- October 7, 2016
- Posted by: Dr. Elise Cohen Ho
- Category: Relationships
There is no doubt in anyone’s mind that Daddy does things very differently than Mommy does.
What is sometimes in doubt is who does them right. But really, does someone really do them “more right” than the other? Does any of that even matter?
What really matters is playing to each others strengths in this thing called parenting.
When speaking to kids I asked “What does Daddy do right?” and the responses absolutely ranged.
My dad does stuff with me like play with Lego’s and do work with his tools. – 6 year old boy
Dad cooks dinner when mom is not home. I like daddy’s food better. – 8 year old girl
He is not gone all of the time. He spends time playing with me. – 10 year old boy
We like fishing with dad. – 12 year old twins, one boy and one girl
My dad takes me to eat food that my mom wont let us have. – 13 year old girl
My dad taught me how to drive. He was less nervous than mom. – 17 year old boy
After this conversation with the kids, I was very curious what types of answers I would get if i I asked about mom. So I did.
“What does Mommy do right?”
Mom organizes us. She is really great at keeping schedules. – 15 year old boy
Mom comes to my games and cheers really loud. Sometimes I wish she did not cheer so loud. – 12 year old boy
My mom and I like to cook together. Well mostly I like to cook and I really like when my mom cleans while I cook. – 16 year old girl
My parents are divorced. Mom does not live with us, she lives with her boyfriend. She takes us to nice restaurants to eat. – Sisters, 10 and 12 years old
My moms run with me. I want to learn to run better. – 12 year old girl
My mom took me shopping for sneakers and then we have been going to the gym together. – 15 year old boy
So what exactly is needed? How can we unite as parents and truly support our family?
This is up to debate and very individual depending on the household and specific family circumstances. Here I share some insights into different parenting styles that will hopefully inspire conversation surrounding around what is best for your unique and individual family.
- If you are both working outside of the home it may be important to note that women typically have a harder time with leaving. Perhaps mom will feel better about the hand off if she writes a note to the sitter with all of the info that is needed to get through the day. This may make mom feel more at ease throughout the day.
- Mom usually feels that she should be able to do her work, run the kids around town, cook dinner, do laundry and complete the myriad of other tasks that it takes to run a home and have a happy well balanced family. Guess what? We can’t!
We may be Wonder Woman but sometimes we do need Superman to come in and save the day.
- Dad’s want to be fully involved in decisions surrounding around the family but can feel left out when those decisions are made without him. Set some time for a family discussion and review the family priorities and division of labor.
- Dads tend to see their child in relation to the world. Mom tends to see the world in relation to their child. These can both be very positive and help to shape a child that is well rounded.
- As parents you may disagree on the best way to parent your child. It is okay to disagree but it is not okay to neglect to come to a conclusion on how to handle a specific situation. It is of the utmost importance that you present a united front to your child. Without that the child is left confused and the authority of both parents is compromised.
To learn more about being united in parenting please visit me at United We Parent where you will find information on our upcoming California parenting conference.
Now it is your turn, what do you feel is the most important factor in supporting, and working together, to raise SUPERKIDS?